Best I Ever Had
by THEOBSTERKENOBSTER107
Summary: Anakin realizes it was him who killed Padme.


"Best I Ever Had"

_**Now I know I messed up bad**_

_**You were the best I ever had**_

Anakin Skywalker sits alone, a picture of Padme clutched tightly in what was left of his hands. His heart thumping, heavy in his chest, his stomach a flurry of butterflies. He looked down at her smiling face, a sinking feeling inside of him. It was just a picture, nothing more than a memory.

_**I let you die in the worst way**_

_**It hurts me every single day**_

He sat alone, thinking about the night that she had been taken from him. Thinking further, he realized he had taken her from himself. He had thought that she'd betrayed him, and he'd tried to kill her. But as he was leaving, he had sensed that she was still alive. He realized then that by trying to kill her, he had broken her heart. After that, she'd lost the will to live.

_**Now I'm here to say I'm sorry**_

_**And ask for a second chance**_

Knowing that he killed his wife, the love of his life, disgusted him. Now, sitting here thinking, he came to realize that she was gone forever. The hurt of realizing that he'd never see her sweet face, stroke her soft hair, or look into her gentle, brown eyes again, was a hurt worse than anything he'd ever imagined. "I'm sorry, he whispers, wishing he could tell her. He wishes he could have a second chance, but there are no second chances in death.

_**Cause when it all comes down to the end**_

_**I could sure use a friend**_

Anakin had lost everyone that he'd ever loved. His mother, dead. He hadn't been there to save her. His best friend, his father figure, Obi Wan, had tried to kill him. He just didn't understand. The Dark Side was the only way to save Padme, but Obi Wan had left him there to burn and to perish. Padme, the first and only love of his life, killed by his words and what he had done.

_**So many things I would take back**_

_**You were the best I ever had**_

Anakin wished he could take it all back. The lying, the killing, the betrayal. He just wanted Padme back, safe in his arms.

_**I don't blame you for hating me**_

_**I didn't mean to make you leave**_

Anakin knew he'd become a monster, he was more machine than man now, but he'd done it all for her, for Padme. He wasn't the man that she had fallen in love with. She didn't like who he'd become. Thinking about this made him wonder, if, in her final moments, she still loved? Had she still been alive, could she find it in her heart to forgive him?

_**You and I were living like a love song**_

_**Now I know you're the only one that I want**_

_**I want you back, I want you.....**_

Those visions that he had of her dying had scared him. He'd known right then and there that he would do anything to keep her alive. They had been so in love, but the secrecy of their relationship got to them in the end. They couldn't call for help when they needed it. He'd known since the moment he met her that she was the one. Everything he'd ever done, he'd done for Padme. Padme was the only thing Anakin had ever wanted.

_**Now I'm here to say I'm sorry**_

_**And ask for a second chance**_

_**Cause when it all comes down to the end**_

_**I could sure use a friend**_

Now, more than ever, Anakin wanted to talk to someone. He needed to talk to someone, but he had no one. So as he sits alone, listening to the frightening sound of his breathing through the heavy, black mask, he looks down at her beautiful smiling face. As he does this, he remembers.....

He remembered their first kiss. It had been on Naboo. It was a forbidden kiss. He remembered when Padme had finally confessed to loving him. They both thought they were going to die that day, but they survived together. He remembered the day they got married. She looked so beautiful, all dressed in white. Their marriage had been forbidden too, so they'd kept it a secret. He also remembered the moment she had told him he was going to be a father. He'd just returned from a mission, and she'd met him, trembling from head to foot. Then she'd told him. He had been shocked, yet overjoyed.

Now she was gone, his child, he believed, gone with her. He had pushed her away when he needed her the most, and when she had needed him most. He hadn't been there for her the way he should have been. He'd been too busy ensuring that she stayed alive. She was gone forever now. Never coming back, leaving him with memories that had once been happy, but were now painful. A tear rolled down his scarred face as his heart broke too.

_**You were the best I ever had**_


End file.
